Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
