Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
