weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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