You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
