A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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