Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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