For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
