Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
