He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
