its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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