Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
