Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
