i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
