Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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