I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
