I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
