How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
