The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize