I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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