I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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