All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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