we have officially lost it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We got so high we made milksteak
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
