I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
