Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
