Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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