Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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