I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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