I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
