I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
