You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
