Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
