Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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