I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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