I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
