she was so not down for the gang bang
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
