had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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