If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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