So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
