Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
