she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
