I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
