i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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