hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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