She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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