He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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