I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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