East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
