I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
