doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
