I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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